Blended Fun

Rocco makes new words from...everything.

"Fake pork. Fork."

"Model and actress. Mattress."

"Blessing and a curse. Blurse."

Doors

Our dog's hair hasn't been trimmed in a while, and his back hair is connecting like a barn door. And Rocco is high while contemplating this.

"Human door. It's like a humidor, but for poop."

Product Not As Described

Rocco's pita bread falls apart as he attempts to put chicken in it, and he ends up mixing everything in a bowl.

Rocco: It's a pita bowl.
Me: Sounds like a parade.
Rocco: A parade dedicated to inadequate pita pouches.

Sigh

"Maybe I'm unhappy in general, and when I breathe people know it."

--Rocco, after I try to explain that although he doesn't mean to sigh dramatically, it always sounds like he is exasperated when he does.

*Correction

I just found the original quote about Rocco handing me his iPhone, which I originally paraphrased from memory because of a lost notebook. This is the real deal!

Rocco, after I asked him why he handed me his cell phone absentmindedly:

"I don't know... I feel like because you have the ovaries, you have a built-in storage device for all my stuff."

That's What She Said: No, Wait I Take That Back Edition

Me: I don't know if it's in or not...
Rocco, smirking: That's what she said.
Me: ...Really?


I'm measuring Rocco's beard with my fingers.
Me, gesturing with my thumb and index finger: It's that long!
Rocco: That's what she said.
Me, holding up the one-inch finger gap in front of his face: So she said it was that long?
Rocco, pushing my hand back: No no! Minus the fingers!

Romantic Man

Lying in bed in the dark.

Rocco: Mio amore!
Me: Are you doing the Italian wrist in the dark?
Rocco: [Pause] You're a punk.