That Other Thing He Likes To Do

Rocco farts.

Rocco: That singer's an asshole!

Rocco's Latest Epic Dream-Talk

Sleeping Rocco likes to talk out loud...

One Night

Rocco: Wee wee didn't show up.

Me: Who's wee wee?
Rocco: The extra camera angle. Which is okay, I just wish we didn't have to pay him.

Another Night

Me: Can I squeeze your blackhead?
Rocco: Uh uh.
Me: Can I give you a kiss?
Rocco: You can press on it.
Me: Huh?
Rocco: If you press on the name it shows the password.
Me: ...
Rocco: Do it.
[I press his nose.]

Some Other Night

Rocco: The G is bigger...oh never mind, it's 'cause it's my name.
Rocco, later: It's smooth. Panda. Scroll bar.

That Other Night
Rocco, half-asleep, explaining his dream to me: They have these trips. One of the spacecrafts is for vagabonds like college students with no money and stuff. The other is normal.

Me: Which one did you go on ?

Rocco: I went on both.

Rocco, later, after mentioning Linda Perry, a white building, and Diane Warren: The building's gone. I was moving liquids and stuff in the car and there were bumps. Now we don't have to worry about it anymore because I woke up.

Rocco, even later: Madrid Yorkshire terrier. I dunno if that's a real dog but that's what they have on the spaceship. It's yellow.

Cross-Species Issues

Rocco and I are walking through the 99c store...

Rocco, sarcastically, picking up what he thinks are panties: Baby, this is really sexy.

Me: That's for dogs.

Confused by the Internets

We are looking at an entry on the Someecards Twitter page. It is a photo of a graffitied sign that reads "Crack Selling Has Begun in this Area."

Rocco: What did it say before that?

Me: Crack sealing has begun in this area.

Rocco, confused: That's not the ceiling...that's the ground.

Rocco In The Sky Fixing Stuff

A high Rocco sits on the couch inspecting a part of the shower head that he is about to install. A few minutes go by with deep and probably unnecessary introspection.

Me: What ya doin?

Rocco: I was just inspectigating it.

(Inspectigating = inspecting + investigating)

When Your Dreams Don't Make Sense to the Conscious Person Beside You

Rocco: Mr. Bean...he's soooo cute.
Me: What?? Mr. Bean?...Like the character?...
Rocco: The royal couple adopted him.
Me: Ooh...is Mr. Bean...a dog?
Rocco, smiling now: Soooooooooooo cute.


Rocco: Did you look?
Me: At what?
Rocco: What everyone else was looking at?
Me: What are you talking about?
Rocco: The purple box.
Me: What's in it?
Rocco: Stuff you want.
Me: Anything you want?
Rocco, exasperated: You know! Stuff you want!
Me: Like what?
Rocco: For people to stop.
Me: Stop what?
Rocco: What you just said.

Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds Smoking Weed

"Oh! I have one for me and the dog...and you have one for you and the dog...it's one each!"

-- Rocco and myself, after five minutes of half-baked calculating what was essentially four divided by four.